And This Is Why We Work The Twelve Steps Of Alcoholics Anonymous

Posted on April 22, 2012 by admin

Another of my favorite parts of the book Alcoholics Anonymous is written just after or during the part regarding step 10.  It is yet another of the promises that you can expect if you actually work each of the nine preceding steps.  Sitting in meetings and working a few steps or reading about the steps or discussing the steps won’t do it.  But if you actually work each of the first nine steps and incorporate them into your tenth step on a daily basis as a matter of living you can expect this to come true.

“And you have ceased fighting anything or anyone – even alcohol. For by this time your sanity will have returned. You will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, you will recoil from it as you would from a hot flame. You will react sanely and normally. You will find this has happened automatically. You will see that your new attitude toward liquor has been given you without any thought or effort on your part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. You are not fighting it, neither are you avoiding temptation. You feel as though you had been placed in a position of neutrality. You feel safe and protected. You have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for you. You are neither cocky, nor are you afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”

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A Breakdown Of Step 10.

Posted on April 22, 2012 by admin

I love this from the book Alcoholics Anonymous regarding step 10.  If you read it you’ll see its really a way of dealing with the things that come up each day.  Often negative things are really a result of our imperfect selves.  As the books says, we strive for progress rather than perfection.  This is the way of progress.  Step 10 is really a repeat of Step 4, 5, 9 and maybe 11?  On an issue by issue basis.  Resentment by resentment, fear by fear as they may reoccur.  Rather than build them up over time and re-do step 4, why not make 10 a matter of daily living and get rid of things as they come up.

(Step 4) Continue to watch yourself for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, ask God at once to remove them.

(Step 5) Discuss them with someone immediately.

(Step 9) Make amends quickly if you have harmed anyone.

Then resolutely turn your thoughts to someone you can help. Love and tolerance of others is your code.

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How to take Step 1 and Step 2 of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous

Posted on April 15, 2012 by admin

I wanted to write up a post with two questions that should help an Alcoholic take steps 1 and 2 of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Keep in mind this is my opinion with snippets direct from the book Alcoholics Anonymous.  I think many times when a new person is beginning the 12 steps they over complicate the steps and use that as a reason not to progress through the steps.  So in the interest of keeping it simple, check out what the Big Book says about step 1 and 2.  If you can honestly answer these questions yes.  “Be Honest!”  Then you have taken steps one and two.

If you feel you cannot answer the step 1 question 100% please talk to your sponsor, read “The Doctors Opinion”, “There Is A Solution”, and “More About Alcoholism” in the Big Book.

Step 1 Reads:  Admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.

“If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if, when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.”- Chapter 4 We Agnostics, Alcoholics Anonymous.

“We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, had to be smashed.”  Chapter 3, “More About Alcoholism”

So the question is…  Can you now fully concede to your innermost self that you are an alcoholic?  Can you fully accept that you have a physical allergy that causes a craving once alcohol enters your body.  Can you fully accept you also have an obsession of the mind that tells you that somehow it will be ok to drink, that this time it will be different.  That somehow someday you may be able to drink normally?  If you can answer yes to this 100% you have completed Step 1.  Congratulations you are on your way.

Step 2 reads:  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

You need ask yourself but one short question. “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built.  Chapter 4 We Agnostics, Alcoholics Anonymous.

So to take Step 2, just ask yourself “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” and if your answer is yes you have taken step 2.  Proceed on reading Chapter 5 “How It Works” to proceed to Step 3.  If you are having trouble with this question, please talk with your sponsor.  Keep coming to meetings.  Reconsider that question after more time and meetings.  What helps me is considering that if I believe those in the meetings who seem happy were once at bottom like me.  The fact of who they are today wells me that there must be a power greater then they which could restore them or anyone else to sanity.

A pamphlet called “The Akron Guide To The Twelve Steps” reads “If your faith is not too strong at first try solving it this way: Look around at your new friends in AA. The program has worked for them. Their troubles were as great as yours. They were down-and-outers morally and in many cases physically. Yet they have followed the rules and have managed to keep sober. It is just a matter of following the advice of your new friends. Follow the program they lay out for you. Have faith in that program. It has worked for them. It can work for you. ”

Good luck…

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My Promises What Happened To Me As I Worked The 12 Steps Of Alcoholics Anonymous

Posted on February 16, 2012 by admin

As I begin to work on my 8th Step i’m dumfounded at the changes and promises that have come true while working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.  I thought it might be interesting to note them while they are fresh in my mind.  Maybe this will be helpful to someone else who is new to the program or wondering what rewards are in store for those who work each step of the AA program.

Step 3 = Drinking obsession gone.  While going to meetings made it easier to stay dry, I still had the obsession of the mind ever reminding me that I was no longer drinking alcohol.  After taking step three, making a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God.   My desire to drink was lifted.  I was no longer interested in alcohol.

Step 4 = Resentments disappeared and a new understanding of character defects was gained.  Through listing my resentments, fears and sex conduct, then listing what parts of self were affected and what parts of self, set the resentment, or fear in motion.   I gained a new understanding of how selfishness, fear and dishonesty caused resentments and fear which lead to much of my drinking.  After listing all resentments, why I had them and how they affected me I could clearly see why I was angry.  By looking at what mistakes I made that set the event in motion i could see how my defects of character triggered the event that caused my anger.  Most resentments disappeared, the few that lingered went away after praying for the person.

5 = Freedom from the past and clarification of my defects of character.  I met with my sponsor and spent three hours going over my resentments, fears and sex conduct I had listed in my personal inventory in step 4.    We talked about each one and looked at how each affected me and what shortcomings like selfishness, dishonesty, pride and fear did to cause each.  By the end of my talk I felt lighter like walking 10 feet tall.  I had more confidence and no longer felt I had to shut the door on my past.

7 = Selfishness and fear actually removed.  When my desire to drink was lifted after taking step three I knew that much of the reason I drank was due to my defects of character, selfishness being the number one offender.  I remember wondering how selfishness might be lifted as my desire to drink was.  At the time I thought of this I had no idea how that might be possible.  Remember this was after completing step three.  I was amazed that after creating a personal inventory, discussing it with someone else, being willing to have all revealed defects of character removed and then asking God to remove them I was given new thoughts and a new way of thinking.  Old habits started to melt away, I now had a new interest in people and loved ones.  I saw what I thought were new opportunities to be helpful but now I realize those were there all along and I missed them or simply did not look.  Old feelings that were tied to selfishness disappeared and I now have a new attitude and a lack of fear.

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The Four Horsemen Of Alcoholism – Selfishness, Dishonesty, Resentment, Fear

Posted on January 17, 2012 by admin

“Continue to watch yourself for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, ask God at once to remove them. Discuss them with someone immediately. Make amends quickly if you have harmed anyone. Then resolutely turn your thoughts to someone you can help. Love and tolerance of others is your code. ” – Into Action AA Big Book

If you’ve done a 4th step you’ll realize just how much of impact these character defects had on your drinking.  The inventory you take in step 4 exposes these and enables you to identify and then attempt to remove these defects from your character.  Success in this effort allows you to realizes the promises that come following step 9.  Failure is the likely return to drinking if action is not taken to work to remove these defects from your character.  This is serious business!

Resentment, the re-feeling of emotional pain as part of anger.  This was something that I routinely used alcohol for to make go away.  The problem is that it always comes back without inventory.  This is why it is the largest part of a 4th step and again mentioned in step 10 as you keep taking inventory on a daily basis.

“If we are to live, we must be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm are not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison. “ - How It Works AA Big Book

Fear, the byproduct of trusting in self rather than god.

“Ask yourself why you have them (fears). Isn’t it because self-reliance has failed you?” – How It Works AA Big Book

Selfishness, the lack of consideration of others as you go after what you want.

“Selfishness – self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly, without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self, which later placed us in a position to be hurt. ” – How It Works AA Big Book

Dishonesty lack of honesty or integrity : disposition to defraud or deceive.

“Members of our group have spent thousands of dollars for examinations by psychologists and psychiatrists. We know but few instances where we have given these doctors a fair break. We have seldom told them the whole truth. Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else. Small wonder the medical profession has a low opinion of alcoholics and their chance for recovery!     You must be entirely honest with somebody if you expect to live long or happily in this world. ” – Into Action AA Big Book

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What Should I Do If I Have A Drinking Dream?

Posted on January 16, 2012 by admin

Ok you just had a drinking dream, so vivid and full of negative emotions.  You are feeling much relieved that it was all a dream but what should you do how?  How can you use this experience and make it something positive?  Well here is a list of suggestions that might be beneficial if you’ve recently experienced a drinking dream.

Talk about your dream.  Talk with friends or a loved one but also you may want to share this with your AA group or other recovery group.  Not only is talking about your drinking dream good for you but also beneficial to others in recovery to hear that they are not alone and provide you some of their thoughts.

Talk to your sponsor.  What a great reminder to talk to your sponsor or get a sponsor if you don’t yet have one.  Have a sponsee?  What a great topic of conversation to let them know that drinking dreams are common in recovery.

Use the experience as a reminder to evaluate your recovery.  Are you skipping meetings?  Not working any steps?  Not talking to your sponsor?  Maybe not but if you are then double your efforts.  We’re not trying to prevent the dreams but us them as a reminder that you should not become complacent and that you should value your sobriety less you experience for real the emotions you felt in your dreams.

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Drinking Dreams And Alcoholism

Posted on January 15, 2012 by admin

Do non-alcoholics experience drinking dreams?  I don’t know, chances are if they do it isn’t significant so no one mentions it.  Drinking dreams and alcoholism go hand in hand but only for recovering alcoholics.  You never hear of someone who is a practicing alcoholic talk about drinking dreams, why bother and chances are they don’t have drinking dreams because these dreams are about the loss of something very important, sobriety.  Someone who is drinking probably doesn’t dream or remember the dreams anyway so you probably won’t hear much about these dreams from someone still drinking.

However to those in recovery from alcoholism, drinking dreams are very real and a scary reminder of our vulnerability to a slip and the resumption of drinking.  I believe the reason that those who are recovering from alcoholism are the only ones who have drinking dreams are because of the sense of loss that would result if that person indeed started drinking again.  Same would go for a drug addict in recovery who dreams of smoking weed or taking some other drug of choice.  Drinking dreams to the alcoholic in recovery are a firm reminder from god to keep working a program of honesty and stop taking the easier softer way.  It’s a great opportunity to inventory your situation.  Are you going to meetings, calling your sponsor and actually working the 12 steps?  If so then use these dreams as a checkpoint and reminder to evaluate your situation.  If you find you are lacking then hopefully these dreams give you the motivation to stop slacking and do the right thing to ensure your continued recovery.

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Drinking Dreams What Do They Mean?

Posted on January 15, 2012 by admin

If you’ve never had a drinking dream before, you may wake up quite startled, worried and amazed at just how real the dream felt.  The feelings you experienced, not only feeling the effect of alcohol then the negative emotions you feel when you realized that your sobriety is toast and you now have to face life.  Lucky this is just a dream!  However what makes the impact of a drinking dream so significant is the experience of what you would feel like if you actually slipped and resumed drinking.  The shame and embarrassment, the feeling of loss and that you either have to start over in recovery, or give up and resume drinking.

So what does the drinking dream mean?  Well here are my thoughts, just opinions and others will differ.  My own thinking is that the drinking dreams are meant to show you how you would feel if sobriety lost its priority.  Hopefully after you experience a drinking dream you’ll use those feelings of shame and loss to further strengthen your grip on sobriety.  Hopefully you’ll use this as a prompt to evaluate where you are at in your recovery.  Are you still hitting meetings?  Are you actually working any of the twelve steps?  Are you in contact with your sponsor?  Do you even have a sponsor?  If the answer is no to any of these then consider your drinking dream a wake up call and take some action.

Some would tell you that drinking dreams are a sign of an oncoming relapse.  Myself I disagree.  As I write this I consider myself strong in the program.  I go to meetings, talk with my sponsor and am working on my fourth step with my fifth scheduled for next week.  Yet I just had a drinking dream.  So I think these dreams can happen anytime regardless of the quality of your sobriety.  However I do believe that God gives us these reminders to save us the pain of a slip.  They are incentives to keep working the program and by working I mean TAKE ACTION.  If you are just attending meetings and are not actually working a step, please consider your drinking dream a warning and get in the groove.

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Last Nights Drinking Dream , My Dad Was An Alcoholic

Posted on January 15, 2012 by admin

Last night I had a drinking dream unlike any i’ve had before.  Every time i’ve had a drinking dream, I was the one who slipped and returned to drinking.  However this dream I was on the other side of the coin.  Perhaps God was trying to show me how others felt or what they experienced for the years while I was drinking.  I’m finishing my fourth step and have my fifth step scheduled so perhaps performing my inventory caused me to have an idea of what others had to cope with while I was constantly drinking.  Here’s what I remember from the dream.

My dad was an alcoholic.  In real life I don’t know if he was or not.  He never was obvious about it and i’ve never heard anyone in my family refer to him as an alcoholic.  He died in 2011 and not from anything related to drinking.  However often i’ve wondered when i’ve remembered his behavior from an alcoholic point of view.  Was he indeed an alcoholic?  I’ve got no idea and I don’t want to disrespect him by asking my mom about it.

Anyway back to the dream.  My dad was constantly drunk, so much so that one image burned into my mind was hearing a lawn mower and everyone thought he was out mowing the lawn.  The crafty guy however was sound asleep, drunk in a canoe down by the lake.  He had rigged the mower up so it would run constantly sounding as if he was working when in reality he was drunk off his ass.  Then in the same dream my sister who is not an alcoholic in real life was a drunk as well.  We were at a family occasion and she was drunk and quite embarrassing.  In this particular dream I was not drinking myself but  awoke feeling embarrassed and ashamed about my family.  Worse I remember thinking when I realized that it must be a dream because my dad is dead.  I was actually glad he was dead vs really that bad of an alcoholic.

I wonder if what I felt was the same as my wife and family felt.  They probably where ashamed, embarrassed, resentful while I was drinking.  It is sure a motivation for me to never return to that and stay conscious of the fact that I am an alcoholic and that my life was indeed unmanageable.  All the more reason to keep going to meetings, working the steps and staying in contact with my sponsor.

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What Are Drinking Dreams / Using Dreams?

Posted on January 15, 2012 by admin

For those who are new to recovery or who are not recovering alcoholics or drug addicts they may not have a clue what a drinking dream is.  Persons who have recently quit drinking or using drugs and are in groups like AA or treatment may hear talk of drinking dreams by others in the group.  Being new they may not yet have experienced one but might be wondering what this is?  Those not in recovery who are not alcoholics may not even have a concept of what a drinking dream is.  Let us help fill that gap.

What is a drinking dream?

For those in recovery, especially with a little bit of time under their belt from time to time they may have a dream where they resume the life of drinking or abusing drugs.  Many times these drinking dreams are a dream of a single event, a slip if you will.  What makes these dreams so significant is the vivid realism that they exhibit.  The recovering alcoholic will feel genuinely as if they had just had a relapse.  They will feel not only the effect of the drugs or alcohol but the shame and dread at realizing they slipped and returned to using.  Sometimes they will fret and worry for hours after waking until they come to the realization that it was only a dream.  Drinking dreams have a profound impact on the alcoholic or drug addict who is in recovery and values their sobriety.  There is no hard and fast rule as to when or how many times a person in recovery will experience a drinking dream.  Myself I started having one or two after about 30 days of sobriety.  I recently had another at around three months.  I’m sure there are members who have years of sobriety who still have these dreams.

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